A World Without Heroes

I remember her so well. More than a year ago.
I'll always remember her. Loved her like I've loved no other. Still love her. Will always love her.

Do you people believe in soul mates? I do. And I know I've met mine.

We don't keep in touch. She has a new boyfriend. She's happier now. I'm happier now. We were so beautifully unhappy with each other, and in that sense it made the love perfectly pure.

You'll know when you met your soul mate when you have. Simple as that. It's that tingle at the base of your soul, that swelling of the heart. It's beyond true love.

In times of despair, even today, even till now, she would always message me automatically to ask how I'm doing. Always at the precise moment when I feel like giving up, she'll appear out of the blue, out of the sudden to show her face and to let me know she's still there. It's a profound moment of realization when that happens. It's like God letting you know you're never alone, in as clear a way he can possibly let you know without popping out of the heavens and going "Hey bro I'm here for u"

Always at that precise moment. I don't know how it happens, but it happens every single time.

She was suicidal. Chaotic. An untamed soul that wanted more in life but was afraid to ask for it. When she was suicidal, I'd catch the first bus and head from the East to West for her. I'd cradle her in my arms and always let her know that the world would get her down but it would never break her.

We broke up. And I'm still sure we hold each other in irreplacable spaces in our heart. No one else will ever fill that space. Yet I think we thrive as human beings apart from each other.

There is an almost serene certainty in this. To know, with every fibre of your being, that at the end of our lives, we will find ourselves together again. Not even as lovers, not even the closest friends. But is soulful entanglement. Not a word exchanged, not a kissed given, but still...there. With each other.

And so this goes out to everyone who reads this.
I know how sometimes sitting in your room alone, you feel like crying
How when everything falls to pieces, you feel like dying
Like giving up your possessions and your faith for the easy way out.
How the world misunderstands you and tries to break you
When you feel that way,
Know that I am always there for you
I might not know who you are, I might not be your friend
I might never be your lover, I might never count in your life
But whoever you are, reading this, know that I will always be here for you
As a human being in a world that threatens to kill us.
Fight on.

Love,
levan