Over the past few weeks I have been doing a lot of deeper reflecting. Feeling my age getting to me, waking up cynical to the sun, jaded by the forces of time acting on a fractured will to live fowards. And then Sean, best friend in the same band Ronin, lent me this self help book. I've always thought self help books were fucking lame and meant for delusional people, but something in me wanted to give it a shot. I wasn't heading anywhere anyway, and my insides were churning from the friction of being idle in life.
I've met some very special people in my life recently. And although we haven't known each other for more than a few weeks, the time spent with them have been deeply meaningful and rejuvinating to me. For the longest time I've been viewing life as something owed to me; i am living, I deserve the best, it is my right to be happy. The irony is that my perception on life before meeting them was the fucked up thing about it. Nobody owes you a living, nobody owes you happiness.
And I've discovered the secrets to living a good happy life.
The best way to seek happiness in life is to seek happiness for others.
My new friends are young. They are like 16, 18, 20 year olds teenagers. And while most people my age might put them down as bloomers that have not yet 'realized' the 'reality' of life, I don't see them as such at all. Initially I was hesitant to get to know them better, simply because I feared what others would say of me; why bother with the immature 'kids'?, but I've come to realize something that has changed my life completely. Something that has made me a happier livelier and rediscovered person.
What is life? What is REAL life? Why, as people age, and accustom themselves to the bustle of our surroundings? As we age, we get more cynical as we face new 'realities' to life. So many people my age lose that spark that triggered them to push forwards in the first place. They stand jaded, passion faded and feel forced to abide by the normalities that our society place us in. Till they forget the simplicities of life that make us happy. I'm close to people my age, and I see them unhappy and angry at the way life has turned out different from what they expected it to be. They feel cheated. Disowned by the dreams they had.
But they forget the simple things that make us smile and laugh and feel loved. I was like that too for the longest time.
My friends have made me realize differently. :)
So I opened my heart, my mind, my time and my love to these people. To Natasha, to Gabriel, to Fiona, to Samantha, to Joycelyn. to Mel. And for the first time in a long long long time in the journey of my life, I let them inside. I rememebred, once again, how it felt to share. To give to and receive, and to do things for people not expecting things in return; but simply because it made you happy to do it for them. I received flake and criticism from people who thought they knew better, but in actual fact, know and understand less about the simple things in life because they have gotten caught up in the rat race to nowhere. And to these people I will give an official FUCK YOU.
My friends you have touched me with your hugs and your kisses and your love for each other and for me. And I love you all dearly. I will stand by you through your thick and thins, your love and your lost. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me rediscover a part of me that I thought I had lost forever. The abililty to love, and to feel loved.
Thank you. XXOOXXOOOXXOOOOooXXXoooXXXOx
:D
love,
Levan
(p.s. My name is NOT Ronin. lol)
